


Smile Flower

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: All the members are mentioned in passing, Jihoon is very grateful for the wonderful people he has in his life, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, everyone means a lot to him, it sounds angsty but it's not really, this is set before Boom Boom era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 09:45:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12745830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: But it makes him wonder, for just a second, what if everything suddenly came tumbling down? What if their success ended abruptly after only a few more comebacks? He thinks about the new title track he has composed and produced, thinks about the soft ballads and the whole group performances he's poured over for days, and is grateful for what he has.Jihoon thinks about himself, about Seventeen, and about what he really means when he says thank you. What he produces at the end is what truly says all he meant in the first place, and he supposes that he's okay with that.





	Smile Flower

Jihoon sighs and steps into the shower, clothes left in a disgruntled heap by the door, smelling like his studio and the tofu from his lunch. He's been having some melancholy thoughts lately, about the future of Seventeen, about the leaps and bounds they've taken and risked, to get where they are today, and it's scary.

He thinks about the people they idolized as trainees, who they've topped in leader-boards and won awards in front of, he thinks about when they ran into BTS' Yoongi and Jimin in their nearby coffee shop, he thinks about the conversation they had with EXO about the cheap velvet seats at an award show, and he thinks about when Soonyoung got a signed Shinee album and cried the whole way home. He thinks about the wins they've gotten, the awards they've received, the fans who have come to love and support them every step of the way.

But it makes him wonder, for just a second, what if everything suddenly came tumbling down? What if their success ended abruptly after only a few more comebacks? He thinks about the new title track he has composed and produced, thinks about the soft ballads and the whole group performances he's poured over for days, and is grateful for what he has. 

He has his members; Seungkwan and Seokmin, who always remember to get him iced coffee whenever they leave the building, Jeonghan, who brushes his hair and irons his clothes when he's in a slump, Jisoo, who tells him amazing stories about what he wanted to be, once upon a time. Seungcheol, who writes beautiful and emotional raps and lyrics, Mingyu, who always makes sure that Jihoon comes home to a warm meal and a funny conversation, Wonwoo, who lends him books and teaches him new words and phrases he didn't know existed, Hansol, who amuses him with his funny voices and his childish actions. Chan, who makes him laugh and collects little puzzle erasers to show him, Junhui, who taught him basic Chinese and the steps for some of their dances, Minghao, who kept his secrets and reminded him not to cry, Soonyoung, who slips his hand into his and leads them down cute little pathways to nowhere.

He supposes, really, that Seventeen is a group that is truly built on trust and love. His members trust him to make music he loves, and he trusts them to work hard to make his visions come true, the same way that he trusts Soonyoung to create stunning dances and Seungcheol to make sure they all eat enough and don't get sick. 

Once, a very long time ago, he was asked in an interview, _"Jihoon-ah, where do you get your beautiful ballad lyrics from?"_. His members had watched with curious eyes as he stuttered into the mic like a nervous child. 

_"Well,"_ He had finally answered, glancing around the room. _"It's not hard."_

He recalls dragging Soonyoung to the bathroom with him more recently, scared to ask the staff where it was, but knowing that he had to go now or wet himself. He remembers promising Chan to save him a part in their title track which he could sing solo in, remembers working hard to make sure that nothing got in the way of the maknae and having time to shine just like his hyungs. 

It's always been them, really. He's got twelve shoulders to cry on, six dongsaengs to whisper dirty jokes to, three men the same age to confess his problems to and play cards against humanity with, three parent figures to talk to and work hard to impress, and it's safe and feels like home. 

He wonders, sometimes, what Seventeen would be like as twelve. If one of them was to leave, what would each member take with them when they went? He knows that his heart is top of the list, knows that he'd probably cry himself to sleep if they were to leave because of a fault of the group, but he also remembers that it's important that they explore their own styles and individual talents, knows that it's good for them to spread their wings and be free and confident. 

If Seungcheol was to leave... well, the leader would change. But who to? Probably him or Soonyoung. Maybe they'd share the role. Or maybe it would be someone unexpected, like Seungkwan or Chan, or even Jisoo or Minghao. And then the style of working with the group would change, because everyone leads in different ways. Chan makes it lighthearted and fun, Jisoo makes it emotional and romantic, Minghao makes it feel like a deadline and a responsibility. Seungcheol makes it sweet in a way that he can brush his fingertips against success and fame, and it makes them all selfish and hungry for more, to do better, to achieve higher. 

If Jeonghan was to go, of all people, the dorms would come to a standstill. Although it's Mingyu who cooks, who cleans and who organises, it's Jeonghan who he falls back on when his plans fail or his recipe isn't quite right. It's Jeonghan who calls his mom for advice, or orders takeout from his own wages. It's Jeonghan who keeps them safe and reminds them to wear jackets and hats and scarves and gloves and to take medication and eat their meals. 

The list could go on. Jihoon doesn't really want it to, honestly. 

He remember their first win. He left the place sobbing, and he remembers being pushed into his seat, sandwiched between Seokmin and the window. When they arrived at the dorms, he cried, even then, and he can still see in his mind the image of Soonyoung wrapping his arms around him and petting his hair and telling him that he's done so, so well and that they're all so proud of him. Even with blurry eyes, he had managed a watery smile and hugged him back.

When he finally steps back out of the shower, he dries himself off quickly, eager to brush his teeth and sleep this one out. He's getting inspired, but he promised that he would stop going to the studio so late at night and actually get some sleep while they're not promoting. He hates breaking promises like that.

"Jihoon?" Jisoo grabs his attention as he stumbles into the small gap between the bathroom and the smallest bedroom which they call the 'hallway'. "What are you doing up?"

The light from the room Jisoo shares with Seokmin and Seungkwan shines underneath the door, and he can hear low chatter from inside. It warms his chest and makes his heart squeeze and twist in on itself from where he's standing in the bathroom door, shirt in hand and sleep shorts just high enough to cover the top of his boxers. How on earth could he have thought like that, honestly, when he's standing right in front of his reality which is so beautiful, just the way it is. He would wish the days away for any amount of talent. 

"I, uh, had a shower," Jihoon pulls his shirt over his head and offers a tired grin. "D'you think I could go and say goodnight to Seungkwan and Seokmin? I wanted to thank them for something."

"Yeah, I think they're awake," Jisoo nods slowly, peering cautiously at the smaller boy with soft eyes. "Sleep well."

"I will," Jihoon agrees, solemnly nodding his head. They step past one another, and Jihoon goes to push the bedroom door open, to thank Seungkwan and Seokmin personally for being so patient with him, but decides he can do even better than that, even better than a hug or a smile. 

 

 

Two weeks later, when Jihoon hands the final copy of all of his music for the album in, he slips in the memory stick he's been returning to for so long. Inside sits a copy of everything he thought that evening, of all the 'thank you's he meant to add at the end of his sentences, of all of the little things he wishes he had said a long time ago. 

"What's this?" The CEO asks curiously, holding up the memory stick so Jihoon can see. 

"A piece of my heart, something for the members, really," Jihoon explains patiently, tapping his feet anxiously against the floor. 

As he leaves, he takes one final glance at the labelled memory stick on the table with a longing feeling in the pit of his stomach. He reads the label slowly before he leaves, but not before remembering it.

'Smile Flower' it says, and Jihoon thinks that all he's ever needed to say, all in two words. 


End file.
